A New Year is a New beginning, A new chance for you to bring yourself
to the next level. But how can you breakthrough the old habits?
The old habits block you and, stop you bringing yourself to that next level.
Breaking through old habits is not something you will do in a day, nor in a month
that is probably where true misunderstanding is.
Many people think that if things do not work out after 3 weeks, "let's stop
is does not work anyway."
And at the same time they feel guilty of not obtaining their new resolution
for that year.
Now ask yourself the question, "if it did not work out once or in this period of three weeks, does that mean it will never work out?"
"Does learning, something, obtaining a new habit or skill, require practice?"
Indeed: Imagine someone wants to ride a bike: Will he be able to ride a bike if he gives up on it after it did not work the first few times?
No Indeed. He will need to keep this goal of being able to ride a bike all the time in his mind so he will continue to have the courage to step on that bike and try again and again.
What do most people do, before quitting on their new years resolution?
They find all kinds of reasons, why they will never be able to do it.
What kind of reasons?
Let's take the example of riding a bike.
If one continues saying to oneself that he/she cannot ride a bike
he/she also has to give reasons why to make this belief stronger, so what kind of excuses could this person make?
Here are some examples
One says to oneself
"my parents were also not able to ride a bike, so I will also not be able to do it"
or one says to him/her self:
"it is not the moment right now, maybe another time" so postponing into eternity
or "If the bike itself was blue I could do it, but this bike is red and I hate this colour" so it is normal that I cannot ride a bike and one ads :
to the next level. But how can you breakthrough the old habits?
The old habits block you and, stop you bringing yourself to that next level.
Breaking through old habits is not something you will do in a day, nor in a month
that is probably where true misunderstanding is.
Many people think that if things do not work out after 3 weeks, "let's stop
is does not work anyway."
And at the same time they feel guilty of not obtaining their new resolution
for that year.
Now ask yourself the question, "if it did not work out once or in this period of three weeks, does that mean it will never work out?"
"Does learning, something, obtaining a new habit or skill, require practice?"
Indeed: Imagine someone wants to ride a bike: Will he be able to ride a bike if he gives up on it after it did not work the first few times?
No Indeed. He will need to keep this goal of being able to ride a bike all the time in his mind so he will continue to have the courage to step on that bike and try again and again.
What do most people do, before quitting on their new years resolution?
They find all kinds of reasons, why they will never be able to do it.
What kind of reasons?
Let's take the example of riding a bike.
If one continues saying to oneself that he/she cannot ride a bike
he/she also has to give reasons why to make this belief stronger, so what kind of excuses could this person make?
Here are some examples
One says to oneself
"my parents were also not able to ride a bike, so I will also not be able to do it"
or one says to him/her self:
"it is not the moment right now, maybe another time" so postponing into eternity
or "If the bike itself was blue I could do it, but this bike is red and I hate this colour" so it is normal that I cannot ride a bike and one ads :
"oh yes and I do not have the money to buy a bike with another
colour, so lets forget riding a bike" or one ads, "oh, I am so busy,
it takes too much time to learn how to ride a bike" so this is not for
me"
or "I expected people would help me, but they are all too busy apparently, so actually it is normal that I cannot learn to ride because I need to be able to count on others"
or "I was told that you need to be good at math’s to be able to ride a bike, but I am not good at math’s, so let's forget about it"
Now this may sound funny and stupid.
But the fact is that many people do make these kind of excuses on a daily basis, without wondering whether the reasons are really legitimate. And in the meantime they have to bear the consequences of not realizing their new years resolution ...
Let's now change the word "learning how to ride a bike" for another sentence, like "learning a new language" or "learning how to cook", "quitting smoking" or
why not replace this sentence with your new years resolution ?
You will see it sounds totally different.
So, there is a reason why one stops feeling the need to do what one promised to oneself.
The reason one gives oneself for taking a decision of not continuing doing something can happen in a blink of an eye. Even when one sits in a car, or cleans the house.
But the consequences are forever.
By what is the trap? Why do people make so many excuses?
It feels safe, we all like certainty, and many of us like to be right as well.
So when one gives oneself many reasons, one feels one is right and that can give a temporary good feeling, although this feeling is just temporary, because the next moment one could feel guilty.
And the more one repeats the same reasons, the more one feels certain about it.
It feels safer. It's a kind of self-hypnosis. But the feeling of safety is a trap. This is a limiting safeness, not one that helps to you to expand and realize your dreams.
What are the other consequences of repeating the same reasons over and over again?
- One can feel totally hopeless, and tired. Which is normal? One tires oneself with reasons why it cannot work.
- There is a high possibility that one will also feel angry. One can be angry with oneself but, it is more easy just to be angry with others, silently or by reproaching them.
- One can also feel guilty, as a part of one knows that he can do more.
So let’s look beyond the fact and the piece of the puzzle and look at the total picture :
The importance is shifting from realizing the resolution to the reasons for not doing it.
So when one puts all ones eggs in one basket is there a chance to get realize what is in the other basket?
or "I expected people would help me, but they are all too busy apparently, so actually it is normal that I cannot learn to ride because I need to be able to count on others"
or "I was told that you need to be good at math’s to be able to ride a bike, but I am not good at math’s, so let's forget about it"
Now this may sound funny and stupid.
But the fact is that many people do make these kind of excuses on a daily basis, without wondering whether the reasons are really legitimate. And in the meantime they have to bear the consequences of not realizing their new years resolution ...
Let's now change the word "learning how to ride a bike" for another sentence, like "learning a new language" or "learning how to cook", "quitting smoking" or
why not replace this sentence with your new years resolution ?
You will see it sounds totally different.
So, there is a reason why one stops feeling the need to do what one promised to oneself.
The reason one gives oneself for taking a decision of not continuing doing something can happen in a blink of an eye. Even when one sits in a car, or cleans the house.
But the consequences are forever.
By what is the trap? Why do people make so many excuses?
It feels safe, we all like certainty, and many of us like to be right as well.
So when one gives oneself many reasons, one feels one is right and that can give a temporary good feeling, although this feeling is just temporary, because the next moment one could feel guilty.
And the more one repeats the same reasons, the more one feels certain about it.
It feels safer. It's a kind of self-hypnosis. But the feeling of safety is a trap. This is a limiting safeness, not one that helps to you to expand and realize your dreams.
What are the other consequences of repeating the same reasons over and over again?
- One can feel totally hopeless, and tired. Which is normal? One tires oneself with reasons why it cannot work.
- There is a high possibility that one will also feel angry. One can be angry with oneself but, it is more easy just to be angry with others, silently or by reproaching them.
- One can also feel guilty, as a part of one knows that he can do more.
So let’s look beyond the fact and the piece of the puzzle and look at the total picture :
The importance is shifting from realizing the resolution to the reasons for not doing it.
So when one puts all ones eggs in one basket is there a chance to get realize what is in the other basket?
Indeed, it is not possible.
So how do we make a new years resolution work for you anyway?
Here 7 steps to make your new years resolution work for you:
1. Never quit, quitting is like giving up on yourself and your ability to achieve it. With the consequence of lowering your self-esteem and confidence.
2. Do not make any excuses, use all your energy to focus on what you wish to achieve. Enpower yourself, by using your energy in the disired direction
3. Find ways to help you realize your resolution, in a better way. For example joining a self help and support group that you can make realizing your resolutions easier for you. In February I start such a group and you can join it at any time.
4. Do not become angry with yourself, this will make you feel bad and you will have even less energy to continue. So accept that you are human, but you will make it work anyway sooner or later.
5. Do not blame others, because then you take away your own power to make something work by yourself.
6. Realize that to feel good about yourself and getting a good sense of self-esteem
you need to fulfill your needs. If you made this new years resolution, it must have been important to you, you must have a deep need to make it come through.
7. Remind yourself that Even if it does not work out in the first few weeks of the year ... This does not mean it will never work out. And say to yourself;
"As long as I did not try 100.000 times like Einstein did, I have no reason to quit"
Finally the last tip :
Give yourself the gift to fulfill your needs and make your new years resolution work for you anyway!
You deserve it!
Livia
"How to get yourself to the next level"
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